


Death and the Maiden

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Childhood Trauma, F/M, One Shot, Reapers, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:20:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29916114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Kylo Ren is a Reaper.He drifts through bars at night, unseen by the living, ending the lives of those who fall on the wrong side of his coin.  It is his Curse.Then one night, Rey, a lonely young woman with a dull little life, sees him.And everything begins to change.But how can the damned and the living be together?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 28
Kudos: 57
Collections: Reylo Creatives: Anniversary Exchange 2021





	Death and the Maiden

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theresonatinglight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresonatinglight/gifts).



> To my fellow Reylo Creatives - you all rock!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story theresonatinglight. You're an awesome writer.

_The trouble is, you think you have time._

_Buddha_

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room – Ben, no, Kylo Ren, he has to start remembering that now, tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. 

He shrugs out of his black sweater and jeans, changing into his black coat and trousers. It’s a much more dramatic outfit, he certainly looks overdressed for the places he visits in them. Or at least, he would if anyone noticed him. But no one does. Not until their last heartbeat, they might, just might catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of their eye, if he chooses a death that leaves them conscious until their end.

Once he’s dressed, he grabs his coin, steps out the door, ignoring any other of the motel guests that he walks past in the hallway. These people are not his concern. They don’t notice him either.

He steps out into the street and starts walking, his hands shoved deep in his coat pockets. He needs to find a bar. Any bar will do and there are plenty to choose from in this city. 

Kylo Ren is a Reaper.

Kylo wanders through the streets seeking out a bar that he’s never been in before. He passes fancy craft beer bars, wine bars, cocktail bars, jazz lounges, biker bars, even strip joints. Nothing really catches his fancy. Perhaps he won’t find anyone tonight.

A small corner bar gives him pause and he looks it over. A flashing neon light simply declares ‘BAR’ over the door. He peers through the window in the door and sees maybe eight people sitting at the polished wood bar, each nursing a drink.

He recognises an old man in one of the booths along the back wall of the bar. It’s been many years since they’d spoken – and that was before he died.

Kylo Ren pushes open the door and nobody even looks up to acknowledge the cheery jingle of the bell above it. He moves slowly behind the bar stools, his dark eyes intent on the grey-haired man sipping a glass of whiskey and tapping a finger in time to the music blaring from the radio behind the bar. 

He slides into the booth opposite his uncle’s old friend. Lor San Tekka doesn’t even see him.

“I enjoyed our little road trips with Luke,” Kylo offers, even if Lor San can’t hear him. Sometimes it’s just nice to pretend to have a conversation with people. It reminds him of being alive. “I just wanted you to know that.”

Lor San glances up from his drink and for a second Kylo pretends that the old man sees him, hears his words. His breath catches as hope fills him.

But then he sips his drink, looking straight through Kylo. There’s nothing there to him. _Stupid,_ he thinks to himself.

Biting down on his disappointment, Kylo flips his coin.

“Heads,” he decides.

The silver coin clatters to the table between them, rolls to a stop, and lands heads up. Kylo looks up from the coin slowly to the man he had known since childhood. _He remembers Lor San buying candy bars and sneaking them to him in the car after Uncle Luke said no while they were inside paying for gas._ The man who is now going to die tonight.

He leans over and places his palm on the old man’s forehead. Lor San doesn’t bat an eyelid, not feeling a thing.

“Brain aneurysm,” he says softly. He gets up and leaves.

Lor San has his back to the rest of the bar patrons. They don’t even notice when his eyes close and he slumps over, leaning against the wall.

Kylo stands outside, his face bathed in the flashing lights of the ambulance, watching as the body is wheeled out. Other patrons watch solemnly, shocked that someone they knew – sort of – died right near them and they didn’t even realise it. A couple of them raise their glasses in solemn salute.

Kylo loses interest and heads off into the night. His job is done. Another dead thanks to him. 

A light rain begins to drizzle down around him and he hunches his shoulders up against it, but makes no effort to walk any faster. 

_The Rules of a Reaper._

_The Death should be merciful._

_No-one can see you._

_No-one is immune from death._

He hears footsteps behind him. Despite the rain, there are still people out – it’s a Friday night after all, there are always drunkards stumbling home late at night, but there is too much purpose in these footsteps. Kylo turns down an alleyway, walking behind a darkened supermarket and he’s nearly to the other side of the road when he hears the footsteps again.

He whirls around and sees the withered face of his Master, Snoke.

Snoke smiles, a ghastly affair on his monstrous face. “A successful night, Kylo Ren?”

Kylo nods. “Yes. One soul.”

“Only the one? Well, all in your own time I suppose,” Snoke muses, patting him on the back with a withered hand. “Punishment must fit the crime after all.”

Kylo stops mid-step. “I will get it done,” he insists.

_He hears the roar of the car engine. The squeal of car tires. The crunch of metal. The shattering of glass._

Snoke just smiles again, his hand returning to the strange sword at his hip, and keeps walking. “I know you will Kylo. I know you will.”

Kylo watches him disappear into the night, trembling with rage. His desire to wander the streets is gone. He’d rather lose himself in the forgetfulness that his motel room offers.

He storms back as fast as he can, brushing past late-night walkers that don’t even give him a second glance.

Once he’s back in the tiny room, he changes back into his sweater and jeans and flops onto his bed. His eyes drift shut into sleep and he dreams of the dead.

*

_Death is only dangerous to the unlived life._

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room, Kylo Ren tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. He shrugs out of his black sweater and jeans, changing into his black coat and trousers. 

Once he’s dressed, he grabs his coin, steps out the door, ignoring any other of the motel guests that he walks past in the hallway. These people are not his concern. They don’t notice him either.

He steps out into the street and starts walking, his hands shoved deep in his coat pockets. He needs to find a bar. Any bar will do and there are plenty to choose from in this city. 

The bar he randomly picks is full of middle-aged women. He stands just to the side of the doorway, looking around, feeling slighting perplexed. Even dead, being surrounded by so many women is a little off-putting. And he doesn’t even have to talk to them.

Kylo is tempted to leave, find somewhere else, but squeezes the coin tightly in his hand. He might flip it on a dozen women here tonight and none of them will die. Or one might.

A blonde woman stands off to the side drinking a bright blue cocktail with a little umbrella in it. He walks up to her, unnoticed.

“Tails,” he decides, flipping the coin.

It lands heads. She lives to enjoy her cocktail.

Another woman is rifling through her purse, muttering to herself about a missing lipstick. He stands in front of her.

“Tails,” he tries again.

Heads again. The case of the missing lipstick continues.

A woman who is closer to drunk than tipsy is discussing the merits of wand versus a satisfier with her friend who is listening with the intense concentration of the drunk – he had no idea what she is yabbering about as he tosses his coin.

“Heads.”

Tails. Fate is either not on his side tonight or it is. He is never sure on nights like this. He has tried asking Snoke, but his Master has no answers for him. Merely reminded him that his curse is to pick the person, not decide if they die. That is up to Fate. 

When the women begin cackling like hyenas, he suddenly realises what these women are actually discussing and grimaces with distaste.

He looks around the bar for someone that isn’t discussing their sexlife, and he sees a petite brunette woman with her hair piled on top of her head in a neat bun.

_“Ben, please, I know you’re upset, but just stay home tonight, won’t you?” Leia's voice is soft as she begs him._

She looks nothing like his mother, not really, and yet, he is painfully reminded of her. He hasn’t seen Leia since the night he died, but the idea of killing someone like her is utterly repellent.

He leaves, walking through the streets, hating his existence. 

Rey finishes counting out the till before the end of her shift at the _Mother Hubbard’s Convenience Store_. She’s known for being studious by her fellow employees. The store will be well-stocked for the night shift and thoroughly cleaned.

Finn comes in late as usual but Rey doesn’t mind, greeting him with a polite smile. There’s nothing waiting for her at home, so what does it matter?

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” he says, off hand about it as he always is. Rey begins to gather up her things. To her surprise, he holds out a couple of slips of paper.

“Here, a friend gave me a couple of freebies at a bar, but you take them. As thanks for covering for me all this time.” He smiles at her, in a sort of kindly pitying way.

Rey shakes her head. “I couldn’t. It’s fine, really.”

“I insist.” He pushes them towards her. “Go out and enjoy yourself for once.”

It’s those words humiliating words that convince Rey to take the vouchers. “Alright.” She slips them into her worn backpack. 

“I want to see photos!” Finn calls after her as she walks out of the store.

She hunches her shoulders against the cool night air, Rey ponders the vouchers in her bag. She hasn’t had a night out in… well. She can’t recall the last time when. People rarely invite her out.

As she trudges home, conscious of all the aches and pains from standing on her feet for ten hours, she can’t help but think that maybe a few drinks would be nice. 

She considers calling Rose, a girl she went to school with and still meets for coffee occasionally, but decides against it. It’s too late notice. No, Rey is comfortable enough with sitting by herself in a bar and drinking alone.

She’s always been alone. Nothing new there.

Kylo freezes when he hears footsteps behind him. He shuts his eyes, willing his Master to go away. He does not want to speak to Snoke tonight. The footsteps stop beside him.

“You seem to be… dilly-dallying tonight, Kylo Ren,” Snoke rebukes, his voice chilling. 

Kylo winces and reluctantly turns to face him. “I tried,” he says stiffly. “The coin didn’t…”

Snoke regards him. “You should have tried again immediately on another human.”

Another death on his conscience. Kylo bows his head. “I know.”

Snoke grabs him by the chin, forcing his head up, and studies his face intently. “Ah, I see what it is,” he says after a moment. “The woman reminded you of your mother.”

Kylo wrenches his head out of his Master’s grasp. “No, I-”

Snoke slaps him so hard he tastes blood in his mouth. “Silence!”

Ever obedient, Kylo goes quiet, his eyes on the ground. 

“You damned yourself when you killed your father,” Snoke snarls. “You have no other purpose, no other reason to exist than to collect the human’s soul.”

Kylo shuts his eyes against the truth of Snoke's words. But Snoke continues, merciless. 

“Until you have repaid the debt for the life you stole, are in my servitude as a Reaper. You will end the lives of a thousand people.” He grabs Kylo by the scruff of the neck and shakes him. “You will abide by the rules of the Reaper and your own Curse. “Now” – he throws Kylo to the ground – “get out of my sight and **do as you are damned to do**.”

As he rushes away, the wounds on the palms of his hands heal over as does the cut in his mouth.

He will obey. He has no choice. 

He goes to find a bar.

Rey showers, eats a sandwich, and pulls on a white skirt and plain black top. It’s a simple outfit, nothing fancy. As she touches up her hair in the normal three knots that she always wears it in, she thinks it sums her life up perfectly. Simple to the point of dullness.

But that’s just Rey all over. Boring. Nothing happens to her.

The _Millennium Falcon_ isn’t overly busy by the time she gets there; most people have had their drinks and headed off to clubs or perhaps late dinners. She can just blend into the background.

She trades one of her vouchers for a house wine and sits down at an empty table. She pulls out her phone and opens up a book to read. 

Rey looks up in surprise when someone sits down opposite her. He’s rather oddly dressed for a bar like this, but handsome with dark hair and eyes. 

Is he going to hit on her? Her? In her boring clothes and boring hair, sitting by herself like a tragic spinster? She waits for him to speak, but he’s staring at a silver coin in his gloved hand.

Glaring at it actually, like it wronged him somehow.

As the silence continues, she realises that he’s not going to hit on her and she’d rather go back to her book. But she has no idea of how to get rid of him without being rude.

“I hope it’s sorry for whatever it did,” she says hesitantly, hoping that just talking to him might make him go away.

His head snaps up.

Kylo looks up, astonished. The pretty young woman with glossy brown hair and a tentative smile is looking right at him. He can’t help it. He looks around to check that there isn’t anyone on either side of him.

There isn’t.

He looks back at her. She’s watching him, though now she’s looking slightly confused.

“Are… are you talking to me?” he says slowly. How can she see him?

She nods, now looking really confused. “Yes.” 

How the hell can she see him? He stares at her, utterly bewildered. This has never happened to him before. He is never been seen by the living. This, he realises, is going to require conversation. And he hasn’t had a conversation with anyone other than Snoke in several years.

He takes a deep breath.

“Sorry,” he says, well aware of how awkward he sounds. “I just wasn’t expecting to… meet anyone tonight.”

She smiles shyly. “Me either. I’m Rey.”

“I’m” – _Ben Ben my name is Ben my name is Ben Ben_ _Ben_ – “Kylo.”

Rey smiles brightly. “It’s lovely to meet you Kylo.”

“You too.” He looks around. “Sorry, were you waiting for someone?”

She blushes. “No, I don’t really have… I’m by myself tonight.”

“How come?”

“There wasn’t really anyone I could ask to come with me. It was a kind of last-minute decision. Guess I just couldn’t stand looking at the same four walls another night in a row. You?”

“Uh… work actually.” He shrugs. “But now you’re here talking to me now and I’d much rather be doing that.”

 _Please_ he begs her silently. _Talk to me. Make me feel real again._

Rey smiles shyly and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “What do you do?”

He thinks quickly. “Acquisitions.” It’s kind of true. “What about you?”

“I work in a mini-mart.” She lowers her eyes, clearly embarrassed.

He figures a change in topic would please her. “What do you do when you’re not working?”

Her relief is obvious, but she seems to hesitate with her answer. “I like to… fix things.”

He’s curious. “Like what?”

She shrugs. “Usually things I find on the sidewalk. I found a refrigerator a few weeks ago and I’ve been trying to get it to work.” She frowns thoughtfully, swirling the wine in her glass. “I got it working but it makes a hell of a noise.” 

“That’s amazing.” He is fascinated by her. “I would have just gotten a new one if mine had broken.”

Rey looks up. “Really? You don’t think it’s… weird?”

Kylo shakes his head. “Not at all. It’s impressive.”

It’s the first time anyone has ever said that to her. On the rare occasions Rey has mentioned her love of fixing things, people have usually tittered, said it’s something only guys do, or thought she was joking. But Kylo seems sincere in his praise.

So she continues talking about the things she’s fixed in the past. A toilet, a toaster, a sofa, a television, a hotplate… and Kylo listens to her as though it’s the most captivating thing in the world.

She stops. “Enough about me,” she says. “What about you? What do you do in your free time?”

He blinks as though coming out of a trance. “Oh,” he says. “I don’t have much free time these days.”

He looks incredibly sad as he says it. Rey reaches across the table and touches his hand, squeezing it gently. His breath catches and he looks down at their joined hands. He swallows heavily and for a second she thinks he might cry.

But then he looks up at her and smiles. Rey can’t resist smiling back. She barely knows anything about this man, but she already knows that she doesn’t want to lose him. 

*

_Life and Death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides._

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room, Kylo Ren tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. He shrugs out of his black sweater and jeans, changing into his black coat and trousers. 

Once he’s dressed, he grabs his coin, steps out the door, ignoring any other of the motel guests that he walks past in the hallway. These people are not his concern. They don’t notice him either.

He steps out into the street and starts walking, his hands shoved deep in his coat pockets. He needs to find a bar.

No, he admits to himself. He wants to find Rey again.

Rey stands in front of the mirror she scavenged out of a dumpster, trying on outfits that might look nice. She doesn’t have much to choose from. Old jeans that couldn’t pass for trendy, and a few worn tops, and a black dress with the hem coming down that she never got around to sewing up. Her eyes fall on the red dress she bought while out with Rose and she has never worn. It’s short and sparkly and… so not her.

 _He might not even be in the bar,_ she reminds herself. They didn’t make plans. Didn’t even exchange numbers. They just talked until they were kicked out of the bar.

She looks around her shabby one-room apartment. Everything she owns, she’s fixed up. And Kylo found that impressive.

She puts on the red dress and goes back to the _Millennium Falcon_ , full of hope that he’ll be there.

He stands there, looking down at the lifeless body, uninterested in the raging bar fight that got this man killed. 

_One soul will do for tonight,_ he decides, even though Snoke expects better of him. He wants to find Rey again. No, he _needs_ to find Rey again.

He all but runs to the _Millennium Falcon_ and sure enough, she’s there, sitting at the same table in a gorgeous red dress that takes his breath away. 

He notices that several other guys are glancing at her, though she doesn’t see them. He feels a flare of possessiveness. _She’s mine,_ he wants to snarl at them. Of course, they don’t see him. Can’t see him. But they can see her – a goddess in a red dress.

She looks up and smiles excitedly as he walks in. 

Rey has been keeping an eye out each time she hears the door open and when she sees him walk in, she can’t help but beam with delight at the sight of him. He’s wearing the same clothes as last week and he looks just as handsome as he did then. He spots her and immediately walks over to her.

He sits down opposite her, smiling. “I was hoping you’d be here.”

She didn’t think her smile could get any wider. “Really?”

He nods. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” He glances her up and down. “You look amazing by the way.”

Rey blushes. “Thank you. It’s not something I usually wear, to be honest.”

He reaches out, entwining his fingers with hers. “You look beautiful,” he assures her. 

He looks over at the small dancefloor where there are a few couples slow dancing to the music. “Dance with me?”

Rey's eyes go wide. “I can’t dance!”

He grins. “I can’t either.” He gets up and holds out his hand.

Blushing furiously, Rey follows him to the dancefloor, her heart pounding in her chest. She has never danced with anyone before. How on earth has this man convinced her to do something like this?

He takes her hand and she tentatively places her hand on his shoulder, trying to remember what she’s seen in movies. His other hand sneaks around her waist and he pulls her close. Slowly they begin to move from side to side, slightly out of time to the music.

Rey frets about it for a moment, but then realises that none of the other couples seem to be in time either and no one seems to care. She relaxes.

“Ready?” he says suddenly and her brows knit in confusion.

“For what?”

He grins. “I’m going to spin you.”

Her eyes widen in alarm, but he lets go of her waist and gently twirls her. Rey laughs as he catches her again. They begin swaying again.

She beams up at him. “This is fun!”

Kylo smiles at her. “It is,” he agrees.

His Master finds him as he nears his motel. “You do not seem to be making much of an effort,” he comments. His hand grips the hilt of his strange sword tightly.

Kylo stops, wondering if Snoke knows about Rey. He swallows nervously. “I -” 

Snoke leans into him. “If you want to make this punishment last an eternity, by all means. Let it. If you want it over faster, it can be.”

Kylo shuts his eyes. “I dream of them,” he whispers. “The ones that die because of me.”

“There is no peace for you,” Snoke reminds him, smiling cruelly. “The death of your father is on your hands and it was not your right to take it. You are permitted to kill now and you must do so.”

“I don’t want to kill anyone!” Kylo says bitterly. “I never did!”

Snoke just laughs at him. “There are far worse punishments than collecting a few souls destined for death.”

Kylo scowls. “So I ought to be grateful for this?”

“What the universe gives it can just as easily take away.”

 _Rey._ Kylo goes still as the realisation hits him. _I could lose Rey if I don’t behave._

*

_Death is the wish of some, the relief of many, and the end of all._

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room, Kylo Ren tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. He shrugs out of his black sweater and jeans, changing into his black coat and trousers. 

Once he’s dressed, he grabs his coin, steps out the door, ignoring any other of the motel guests that he walks past in the hallway. These people are not his concern. They don’t notice him either.

He steps out into the street and starts walking, his hands shoved deep in his coat pockets.

The bar is quiet, only a few patrons, and if he’s not mistaken, a few hookers sidling up to the men there. He goes over to one of the men.

“Tails.”

Tails.

The thing he’s learned about death and mercy is that it’s relative. There are thousands of truly terrible ways to die. There are some that seem awful to the living, but are over quick enough to the dying.

He places his hand on the man’s forehead. “Stroke,” he says. He lets go and walks away.

His heart soars at the very sight of her, but he sees immediately that something is wrong. She’s hunched over their normal table, staring miserably into her glass. She seems to radiate misery. He touches her shoulder lightly once he’s beside her.

She looks up at Kylo. “I’m glad you’re here tonight.”

Her words please him, but she’s still despondent. “What’s wrong?”

She shrugs. “Just a bad day.”

It’s clearly more than that. He sits down and touches her hand very lightly. “Tell me?”

“It’s the anniversary of the day that I was dumped on my foster father’s doorstep.” Rey looks down at her lap. “Unkar. I lived with him since I was five years old.”

Kylo studies her carefully, entwines his fingers with hers, holds her hand tightly, and waits for her to keep talking.

She tells him of her horrible foster father that made her life miserable growing up.

Swiping at the tears in her eyes, Rey sniffles. 

“You would think,” she blurts out, “that after living with someone for thirteen years that they would care about you? Right? That they might love you, just a little?” She shakes her head. “Not Unkar. After I turned eighteen and the checks from the state for my care stopped, he gave me a garbage bag to put my stuff in and told me to get out.”

She bows her head as the memories swamp her. 

_“Unkar please,” she weeps as he drags her down the dingy hall of his apartment. “I’ll be good. You won’t even notice I’m here, I swear. Please don’t kick me out. Please!”_

_He just grunts, hauling the front door open and shoving her out into the rain. “Get lost girl.”_

_Terrified, Rey stands on the doorstep, a scrawny, underfed girl, clutching a trash bag of mismatched clothes and a few childhood mementos. She is wearing her only pair of shoes, a pair of sneakers that pinch and have a hole in them._

It’s been over three years since that horrible day and the pain is still raw as the day he threw her sobbing eighteen-year-old self out the front door and onto the footpath with nowhere to go and not a penny to her name.

“I was just a… a thing to him,” she whispers brokenly. “Nothing.”

Kylo gets up and walks around the table. He pulls Rey to her feet and holds her tightly.

“You’re not nothing,” he says. “Not to me.”

She looks up at him, astonished, and he realises that no one has ever said anything like that to her before. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, studying her beautiful face. If only he could have met this girl when he was alive. How he would have loved to have made her happy. To make her smile every day.

He kisses her.

Rey smiles the whole way home, Kylo's hand holding hers. She hates this miserable little street, with the junked-out cars, and boarded-up houses, and the neighbours that ignore her.

But tonight, with Kylo's strong arm around her, hugging her close, she doesn’t care.

She points up to a tiny window above Niima Mechanics. “That’s me.”

He glances up at her apartment, and then back to her. He smiles, running a finger down her face.

“You’ll be alright?” 

She nods. She needs sleep. She will dream of his sweet face.

Kylo kisses her goodbye. “Goodnight Rey,” he says softly.

He watches her walk up the steps and once she’s safely inside, he whirls around, his steps full of purpose.

Unkar Plutt. 

Rey had let slip while they talked that Unkar spent his nights in a bar. Bars are the domain of Kylo Ren. 

He finds him.

It’s nearly dawn, but the fat man is sitting at the bar over a half-empty glass, listening to a television that’s playing in the corner. He doesn’t look up when Kylo stands in front of him.

This cretin was the one that reduced his Rey to tears. Threw her out into the streets, crying and begging for mercy.

Kylo flips the coin. “Heads.”

It lands heads. His eyes harden.

Snoke catches up with him on the walk back to his motel.

“That was not a merciful death,” he comments. He seems almost pleased.

“No,” Kylo agrees, not breaking his stride. “It wasn’t.”

This death will not haunt him.

*

_Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music and death a note unsaid._

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room, Kylo Ren tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. He shrugs out of his black sweater and jeans, changing into his black coat and trousers. 

Once he’s dressed, he grabs his coin, steps out the door, ignoring any other of the motel guests that he walks past in the hallway. These people are not his concern. They don’t notice him either.

Wandering from the motel, he passes the clubbing district and considers. He needs to up his numbers to keep Snoke off his back. 

He’s never liked clubs. But perhaps tonight, he can make an exception.

Her shift is nearly over. Rey is stocking shelves when a middle-aged man taps her on the shoulder. She puts on her ‘customer smile’ and turns around, ready to answer whatever inane question is about to be asked of her. To her surprise, the man removes his hat and fumbles with it awkwardly.

“You’re Rey,” he says, “the girl that lived with Unkar Plutt all those years ago?”

Rey draws in a sharp breath, looking around, hoping no one is listening. She vaguely recognises this man, she’s sold him beer and cigarettes on a regular enough basis.

“Yes,” she says nervously. “I did.”

He nods. “I thought I recognised you.” He shrugs. “Just thought I’d tell you that we buried him today.”

“Buried?” She stares at him. “Unkar… Unkar is _dead_?”

“Died last Friday.” 

“How?” His grimace tells her that it wasn’t pleasant. “I see.”

He looks relieved. “Well,” he steps away from her and puts his hat back on, “just thought I’d tell you even though you and Unkar haven’t stayed in touch.”

 _What a nice way of putting it_ , Rey thinks sourly. But she smiles politely at him.

“Thank you for telling me, I guess.”

She watches him leave, her ears ringing. Her legs feel weak. Slowly, she begins to stock the shelves again. There’s nothing else for her to do.

Rey wants nothing more than to see Kylo, curl up in his strong, comforting arms and have him hold her, but finds herself dawdling on the way to the _Millennium Falcon_. She didn’t think that Unkar's death would have thrown her as much as it has.

She finds herself in front of a club whose name she recognises from hearing Finn talk about it and to her surprise, she sees Kylo walking in.

Rey does a double-take, but it’s definitely Kylo. Why would Kylo be interested in _Canto Bight_? Curious, she follows him into the club. The music so loud her body seems to vibrate. Not the sort of place she likes at all. She watches as he moves through the crowd. People seem to step away from him, not even glancing at him.

He looks around and zeros in on a young man who is looking at the skin on the back of his hand as if it is the most fascinating thing in the world. Clearly high as a kite.

Kylo flips his coin. “Tails.”

He catches the coin and checks it. Tails.

He looks up at the doomed young man. Kylo doesn’t know his name, but after tonight, he will be haunted by him. This random stranger he chose in this noisy club will plague him.

He places his hand on the man’s forehead. “Overdose,” he whispers, and pulls away.

The man twitches as the drugs in his system begin to argue with his body chemistry.

Wearily, Kylo walks away.

She stares at the convulsing man that Kylo left in his wake, watching as people rush to help him. She isn’t sure what Kylo had done to him, but she is certain that he’d done something.

“He’s dead,” she hears someone say, panic-stricken.

 _Dead,_ she thinks. _He’s dead._

Slowly, she walks outside and sees Kylo walking away, shoulders hunched up against the night air. She has to run to catch up with him. She touches his arm.

He startles, whirling around. “Rey.” 

She doesn’t know what she expects him to say or even what she wants him to say. She just smiles awkwardly. “I saw you go in and…”

His eyes flicker back to the club. She can hear an ambulance approaching, even if it’s too late.

Kylo says nothing. He simply stares at her steadily with dark, sad eyes. Waiting. Making her ask. Making her say the words.

Rey has to know. “Kylo… did you kill him?”

“Yes.”

She reels back. Her mouth opens and closes several times as she struggles to process his words. Perhaps she is trying to think of a response that isn’t utterly asinine. He doesn’t give her a chance. Kylo turns away and begins to walk off.

“Wait, no, Kylo, don’t…”

He stops, but doesn’t turn around.

“Rey,” he says, his voice shaking. “I don’t expect you to understand. You have no idea how much our time together has meant to me. But I think it would be best now if you just forgot I existed.”

“Forgot you existed?” she repeats incredulously. “Kylo, what if I never forget you?” 

She grabs him, forcing him to face her. “What if in all my life, when I meet someone new, I can never love them, because they aren’t you?”

She has tears in her eyes and he is the cause of them. He had hadn’t thought it possible to hate himself more than he already does and yet here he is, causing his dear, sweet Rey even more pain. He wants nothing more than to take her in his arms, comfort her, kiss her, but instead -

“I’m a Reaper.”

It is time to end this. Time to let her go and let her live. 

“I died years ago.” It feels as though someone else is saying the words. “Now I pick out humans and mark them for death.”

Rey trembles. “I don’t believe you.”

There is a pair of drunk women walking down the footpath, giggling with each other as they eat late-night junk food. They’ve been out drinking – it counts. As they near him, he tosses the coin. 

“If it’s heads,” he says flatly, “that girl in the blue dress dies.” He flips the coin. 

“Wait!” She looks at the approaching girls anxiously.

“Heads.” He shows the coin to Rey. She looks at it, her brow furrowed as she tries to understand.

He has no choice now. He touches the one nearest to him on the forehead. He feels the flash of her life. He knows that he will never forget her. Not now.

“Car crash.” Perhaps that is too harsh, but it will make the situation real for Rey. And for him.

His hand drops away.

Within seconds, a car rounds the corner and slams into the woman. She flies through the air, slamming into the ground. The blue dress is covered in blood. Dead.

The other woman screams for help and people rush over. The driver stumbles out, frantic, and people rush to help him as well.

Surrounded by the chaos, Rey just stands there, tears rolling down her cheeks. He can see that she believes him now.

“Don’t go,” she pleads. “Kylo, please!”

“I’m sorry Rey,” he says. “For everything.”

He forces himself to walk away, grateful she can’t see the tears on his cheeks.

It’s not until she is heating up a tin of soup on the hotplate that it hits her.

Unkar died the night she told Kylo about him.

Kylo killed him. For her.

*

_“Live,” Death whispers. “I am coming.”_

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room, Kylo Ren tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. He shrugs out of his black sweater and jeans, changing into his black coat and trousers. 

Once he’s dressed, he grabs his coin, steps out the door, ignoring any other of the motel guests that he walks past in the hallway. These people are not his concern.

Kylo wanders the streets listlessly. All he can think about is Rey. He wanders into a bar, scanning the crowd, knowing that he can end the lives of any of the people here. He doesn’t want to.

He hates killing people.

But that is the whole point of the punishment. His Curse. 

He tries Heads on one person but it comes up Tails. Tries Tails a few times and the coin keeps coming up Heads. Infuriating. Each time he works up the nerve to pick a person, his stomach churns with the dread of wondering:

_Will I remember this person for eternity?_

The Universe is in no mood to hurry him along it seems. The people all live another day. He leaves the bar, incredibly relieved, yet frustrated.

Back on the street again, his mind goes straight back to Rey. Her sunny smile, the freckles that dot her nose…

Without even realising it, he starts walking back to the bar they met in. 

Rey sits on the couch, staring into space. It’s been a week since she's seen him. Seven whole days since Kylo told her that he was a Reaper. That she ought to forget him. 

But she hasn’t stopped thinking about him. How can she? Her entire world has been turned upside down. She’s discovered that there are supernatural beings. And that one cares enough about her to kill the man that has tormented her life for years.

For the past few days, knowing that Unkar is gone and that it was done for her sake… Rey has slept better than she ever has. It’s like a weight has been lifted.

She feels free.

Rey looks around her dump of an apartment, the dirty grey walls, the cracked sink that no matter how hard she’s tried, she can never fix, the lumpy mattress on the floor because she just never purchased a frame because… why should she?

She wants Kylo back more than anything.

Rey gets to her feet and despite the late hour, rushes to the bar.

It’s nearly empty, but he’s sitting at their table, staring at the coin in his hands.

“I don’t care.”

His head snaps up at the sound of her voice. “Rey?” 

“I. Don’t. Care.”

He stares at her. “How can you not?” He looks around the room at all the people that can’t see him. Do they just see a woman talking to thin air? 

“I can’t… I can’t give you anything.” He smiles bitterly. “I’m not alive. That’s done for me. And you deserve,” he takes a deep breath, “ _everything_. Everything that life has to offer.”

“I don’t care about that. Any of it. I just care about you.”

He feels tears roll down his cheeks. Oh, how he has always wanted to hear someone say those words to him and feel like they actually mean it. And looking into Rey's bright hazel eyes, he knows, he _knows_ , she does.

“It won’t be – I won’t be enough,” he says softly. “I have nothing. I am nothing.”

Rey smiles tenderly.

“You are all I need,” she says simply. She reaches across the table and takes his hands in hers. “You… you make me feel Kylo.”

“Ben,” he whispers faintly. “My name… it was Ben.”

“I love you, Ben.” She squeezes his hand tightly in hers.

Hearing his name, his _real_ name, breaks him. He won’t say the words back to her – even though he loves her more than anything he will not condemn her with that knowledge. He simply holds out his arms to her.

Rey holds Ben tightly. She buries her nose into his neck, inhaling his scent. His arms are strong and comforting around her.

It will be anything but a traditional romance, but that doesn’t matter to her. She has a person, the only person that believes in her. Sees the real her, her real worth.

He wants her. He _wants_ her. He wants _her_. 

She kisses him.

Her heart pounding, Rey leads Ben up the rickety stairs to her tiny apartment. But for once, she doesn’t care about the cheap shabbiness of it because she knows that he won’t care about it. He only has eyes for her. As she turns the doorknob, she feels his lips on the back of her neck and she shivers.

“Rey?”

She looks over her shoulder at him and smiles as he kisses his way up to her mouth. When he pulls away from her, he runs a finger down her cheek.

“Can…can I carry you? Over the threshold?” he whispers.

Beaming with delight and excitement at the prospect, Rey nods. He picks her up as though she weighs nothing and she snuggles up against him, looking up at him lovingly and he gazes back at her just as adoringly.

He carries her over to the bed, laying her down gently. He lays down beside her, shucking off his shoes, and strokes her face, in complete awe of her.

“You,” he whispers, ‘are everything to me.”

Words she never thought anyone would say to her. Rey smiles and pulls him into a kiss, running her fingers through his silky hair. She feels like the luckiest girl in the universe to have this man in her arms. And she is determined to keep it that way.

They shed their clothes, and Ben leans back to look at her properly, his eyes full of reverence. “You’re so beautiful,” he says, running a finger up along her flat stomach to cradle a breast gently. Rey sighs, leaning into his touch. 

He presses kisses against her shoulders, her neck, her jaw, still with his hand massaging her breast, and when a thumb begins to rub her nipple gently, his mouth finds Rey's mouth once more.

Rey’s hands roam freely over Ben’s body, over the curves and planes, and she pushes sinuously against him simply to feel his skin against her own. She reaches between them and smiles into their kiss when she hears the soft sounds of pleasure from Ben as she wraps her hand around his hard cock.

He gently sucks on her earlobe as she continues to stroke him, making her toes curl and her breath speeds up. She arches up against him, struggling to keep her focus on what her hand is doing. When his warm mouth moves to her other nipple, Rey lets out a soft moan and her hold on him loosens a little.

Ben's mouth moves down her body, small kisses, and gentle licks, and he smiles as her skin quivers. His fingers reach her soft, dark curls and go lower still. Watching her face, he slowly slides two fingers into her and Rey moans when he begins to gently move his long fingers.

He nuzzles the inside of her thigh, his fingers speeding up. It’s a wonderful friction, and her body tightens around him. She gasps when he gently licks her clit.

He alternates between kissing and sucking her, and she whimpers, straining not to buck against his mouth as her toes curl and her thighs tremble. She pants, knowing she is getting closer. His fingers curl, touching that sweet spot and -

Rey _shatters_.

He kisses his way back up to her mouth. “Rey,” he sighs. “You are so perfect.”

She loves the sound of her name on his lips. She reaches between them once more and guides him into place. She nods.

Pressing his forehead to hers, he thrusts forwards gently. Rey gasps.

It takes her a few minutes to adjust to the sensation, the fullness inside her, the strength of him above her, his warm breath in her ear as he tries to catch his breath.

He thrust in once more, a little harder.

“Again,” gasps Rey. “Please, again.”

Ben obliges, the heat rising between them as he drives in deep, over and over. Rey rises to meet him every time, moaning softly with each gentle thrust.

Their skin becomes hot and damp with sweat when he speeds up, and it starts to be too fast, too intense, too much, and Rey sees swirls of colour.

It feels to both of them as if the vast universe had shrunk down, redesigned to bring them to this perfect moment.

He comes with a loud gasp just as she cries out.

Ben collapses upon her, and Rey loves the weight, the bulk of him, pressing her down into the mattress. She turns to face him, and Ben is smiling contentedly. They lie there catching their breath for some time, Ben’s thigh still slung across the back of Rey’s legs and his hand rubbing endless, lazy circles against her back.

*

_Even in the grave, all is not lost._

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room, Kylo Ren tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. He shrugs out of his black sweater and jeans, changing into his black coat and trousers. 

Once he’s dressed, he grabs his coin, steps out the door, ignoring any other of the motel guests that he walks past in the hallway. 

He finds Rey waiting outside their bar. She’s changed out of her work uniform, though he can tell she’s tired. But she smiles happily to see him and he smiles back, unable to believe how lucky he is to have her with him.

She kisses him lightly on the lips in greeting. “Hi.”

He pulls her in for a tight hug and she giggles. He can’t help but wonder what others see, though no one looks at her oddly. Strange.

“So,” she says tentatively, “should we just get work out of the way, or are you done for the night?”

He blinks. “We?” he repeats.

She nods. “I only get to see you once a week.”

He stares at her. He can’t decide if this is appalling or oddly endearing. Perhaps both.

Rey smiles at Ben's bewildered face. “You’ve done this in front of me before,” she points out. 

She’d given this a lot of thought over the past week. She wants to follow him while he does his Reaper duties. She gets one night a week with him and she doesn’t want to waste a minute of it being weak-stomached.

He nods slowly and begins walking. She takes his hand, lengthening her stride to keep up with him, though she suspects that he’s shortened his already.

Friday night partiers spill onto the streets and she looks around, wondering who he will pick. A man being dragged into a cop car across the street catches her attention.

“Why don’t you go after criminals?” she asks.

He follows her gaze. “Because I’m not judge, jury, and executioner. Just a Reaper.”

She deflates a little. He glances down at her and smiles faintly. “I can only approach people who are drinking in bars or clubs,” he explains. “My reach is rather limited.”

“Is that for... all Reapers?”

He shakes his head and looks away, his gaze darkening. “Just me.”

Ben leads Rey into a loud Irish-style pub. It seems very green and leprechaun motif heavy to her. He looks around and sees a group of young men at a table, each with a pint in their hand, laughing happily with each other. 

He lets go of her hand and drifts over to the table. None of the men look up at him.

“Heads.”

Rey's heart is hammering in her chest, waiting. _Is one of these men about to die?_ She wants to scream, warn them, but… what can they do?

Ben is looking at the coin in his hand grimly.

“Is it…?” she asks.

He doesn’t take his eye off the coin.

“Rey, don’t look. Whatever you do, don’t look.”

She turns around obediently.

Kylo touches the young man’s head, feels the flash of his life. “Heart attack.”

He lets go and walks back to Rey, quickly leading her out of the tacky pub. He can hear the yells and cries for help as he hurries her away from the place. When they turn the corner, he stops.

“He’s dead,” she whispers, stunned.

He nods. Around them, people walk past, not seeing him as always.

“Okay.” Rey nods to herself and then she rushes to the street and throws up in the gutter. 

She sits back and looks at him. “Is it always that terrible?”

“Yes.”

He smooths the hair out of her face. “Last time doing that, okay?”

“But… shouldn’t someone be there to… I don’t know…” she trails off, upset and confused.

He thinks he understands. “I have to remember the life of every person I kill.”

Her eyes widen. “Their entire life?”

He taps the side of his head. “All the little details of their lives.” He doesn’t tell her about how they don’t leave him when he’s asleep. 

He holds her close, presses his forehead to hers. “Rey, you’re the one bit of light in my world. I don’t want you tainted with my darkness. Next time, I’ll do… this before seeing you.”

She feels guilty for not arguing, and she’s also disappointed that it will cost her precious minutes with him. She nods glumly, offering her cheek for a kiss so he won’t be subjected to her vomit breath.

“Let’s get you something to eat,” he suggests.

Rey looks him up and down. “Do you eat?”

He shakes his head. She realises that she never saw him drink anything while they were meeting at the _Millennium Falcon_. She smirks at him. “Well, aren’t you a cheap date then?”

They sit on a park bench while Rey happily eats a falafel. 

_One will do for tonight,_ he decides. But his gaze keeps straying to a bar across the street. 

He looks down at her. “So what are you going to do when I’m not around then?”

“Work.” Rey rolls her eyes, poking at the last of her food. “What else would I do?”

“Do you want to stay at that mini-mart forever?”

She snorts. “Of course not.” She rubs her face wearily. “I never finished high school. I was too scared to go back after Unkar threw me out.”

Kylo glances at her warily. Rey holds her head a little higher. 

“But Unkar's gone now,” she says, carefully not looking at him, and he realises she knows what he did. 

She looks down at her hands. “I want to open a repair shop.”

“Repairing what?”

She laughs. “I don’t know!”

He picks her up and twirls her around. For her, anything is possible now. He’s happy to just bask in her joy.

*

_Death responded, “Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.”_

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room, Kylo Ren tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. He shrugs out of his black sweater and jeans, changing into his black coat and trousers. 

The coin seems to be against him tonight. No matter what he calls, the opposite comes up. He just wants this over with so he can go see Rey.

“Tails.” Heads.

“Heads.” Tails.

“Heads.” Tails.

A young woman crosses his path.

“Heads.” Heads.

He touches her forehead. “Head wound,” he whispers and lets her go.

She stumbles, overbalancing on her high heels, and falls, knocking her head on one of the tables. 

Kylo walks away, despising himself. He is glad that he has Rey.

He waits for Rey across the street from the convenience store she works at. He watches a couple of junkies argue, ponders tossing the coin for their lives, but he learned early on that if you have to remember someone for eternity, finding someone that led a happy life is better than a miserable person. He has enough of his own pain to deal with.

They wander away.

Rey comes out and she brightens at the sight of him. “Ben!” 

They start walking back to her apartment. She chatters about her day – long and boring – but entertains him with stories of obnoxious customers.

“While I was on my break,” she says shyly, “I looked up what I had to do to finish high school and what courses I’d need to do to start an electrical repair business.”

He kisses her, proud and pleased. “You’ll do great.” He squeezes her hand reassuringly. “I know it.”

She beams at him.

“Well, well, well.” At the sound of Snoke's voice, Kylo instantly whirls around, putting himself between Rey and Snoke. He isn’t sure if Snoke can kill her – the rules of a Reaper still apply to her, she is human after all – but he isn’t going to give Snoke a chance.

“What do we have here?” Rey sensibly stays behind Kylo, still innocent of the horror that is Snoke. Kylo says nothing, just glares at his master.

“You never told me that you had discovered a human that could see our kind Kylo.” He smirks, moving closer, trying to look at her properly as Kylo tries to shield her. “How romantic. A Reaper with a lover.”

“Stay away from her,” Kylo warns.

Snoke ignores him. “Tell me, girl,” he says as though Kylo weren’t there, “what is your name?”

When she says nothing, Snoke draws his sword and places it at Kylo's neck, forcing his head back. Rey gasps, steps out from behind him.

“Don’t hurt him.” She watches the sword anxiously. “My name’s Rey.”

Snoke smiles as though this were a pleasant chat. “A pleasure to meet you, dear. I am called Snoke.”

Rey's eyes flick from the sword to Kylo's face and back. He wishes she would run, far and fast. 

“Have you figured out how one becomes a reaper after they die, dear girl?” Snoke says suddenly, lowering his sword, leaving a small cut on Kylo's neck. To her credit, Rey doesn’t even flinch. She just eyes him warily, sizing him up. Kylo is in awe of her bravery. 

“I expect you’re about to tell me.”

“They kill a person.” Snoke looks calmly at Ben. “It is not for the living to take a life.” 

Rey swallows heavily. She gropes behind her, finds Ben's hand, and squeezes it tightly, reassuringly. Wants him to know she’s with him, no matter what.

“Killed someone,” she repeats, pleased that her voice is still steady in the face of this monster.

Snoke inclines his head towards Ben. “In his last moments, he was responsible for the death of his own father.” 

His eyes go past her to look at Ben. “He damned his own soul. So to repay the debt to the universe, he must choose souls to die.

She shakes her head, hoping that the monster in front of her is lying. “No, that can’t be-”

He wraps a pallid hand around her forehead. And shows her.

_Ben is hunched over a small table, glaring into a half-empty glass when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Han has found him at last it seems._

_“C’mon kid,” his father says. “Time to head home.”_

_Ben shuts his eyes. If he pretends hard enough, he can ignore the hint of irritation in his father’s voice. Han has probably looked in half a dozen bars already in search of his son tonight._

_Ben considers arguing, but it’s late, he’s tired, and since he lost his license, he does need a ride home. He knocks back his drink and silently gets up to follow his father back to his car._

_The ride home is tense._

_“Look,” Han says, clearly trying to word this a delicately as he can. “Your mother thinks that perhaps, you should go to… a meeting.”_

_Ben slowly turns his head in an effort to focus on his father. “A meeting,” he repeats._

_“Yeah. You know…. A meeting.”_

_Ben scoffs. “What makes you think I want to?” He looks back out the window. Tries to look up at the stars, but it just makes him dizzy._

_Han sighs. “She just wants you to get better Ben.”_

_“To be the picture-perfect politician’s son,” Ben sneers. “Can’t be the screw-up.”_

_Han glances at him. “You’re not a screw-up, kid. You just need help, is all.”_

_Ben's hands curl into fists. That’s all he has ever heard. Do this and you’ll be better. Do that and you’ll be better. He has never been good enough for anyone._

_He brings his hands down on the dashboard and the plastic splinters with a satisfying crack. He does it again and again, exposing the wires underneath. He’s vaguely aware of his father yelling, screaming at him to stop._

_He glances over, realising too late that he’s disabled the steering wheel too. He draws a sharp breath, hears the squeal of car tires as an oncoming car tries to stop._

_Suddenly the car is hit and everything is turned upside down as the car flips, rolling off the road. He shuts his eyes. Metal crunches all around him. Glass shatters, shards flying everywhere._

_Stillness._

_It hurts to breathe. He opens his eyes. It hurts to breathe. Searches for his father. It hurts to breathe. He finds him._

_He can see straight away that Han is dead._

_He can’t breathe, there is too much pain, and all he can see is his dead father. Who would still be alive if it wasn’t for him._

_That is his last conscious thought._

“And now you see.” Snoke lets her go and Rey collapses to the ground. 

Ben cradles her in his arms, his face sadder than she has ever seen it. She looks up at him. “Ben…”

“That is not his name,” Snoke titters. “He lost that name when he died. He is the Reaper Kylo Ren.”

Rey touches his face. “You didn’t kill him on purpose,” she protests. “Surely -”

“It’s done, Rey.” Kylo shakes his head. “The universe has spoken.” 

“Retribution for the past is owed,” Snoke agrees, placing a hand on Kylo's shoulder. His grip tightens to the point of pain and he leans down to whisper in his ear. “You are a creature of death and a murderer, no matter how beloved.”

Kylo closes his eyes. Nods once in acknowledgment. He lets go of Rey and gets to his feet.

“Very good.” Snoke chuckles, smiles at him. “You have work to do.”

Kylo grips the coin in his pocket and turns to go find a bar. 

“You can start with her.” Snoke looks at him expectantly. “No human is immune from death. Not even this one.”

Kylo feels like the ground has dropped out from under him. “No,” he whispers in horror. “No, not her.”

To his utter amazement, Rey just smiles. “It’s okay,” she says gently, standing up. She reaches out, strokes his face. “If I die, I’ll share your wrongs."

He steps closer, presses his forehead to hers. He is trembling, yet she is steady. She wraps her arms around his neck. 

"We will be together,” she promises, smiling at him. “Even in darkness, our love will be in the light."

He lets her go and pulls out the coin. She steps back from him and waits.

“I’m waiting,” Snoke says impatiently.

Rey smiles benevolently at him. “It’s okay.”

Kylo spins around and grabs the sword from Snoke's hip and swings, cutting his Master’s head clean off his shoulders. His body topples to the ground and disappears in a haze of black vapour. It’s as if he were never there.

Rey looks around. “Is he… dead?”

Kylo stares at the sword in his hand for a few seconds, and then drops it. It vanishes in the same black vapour when it hits the pavement. “I have no idea.”

He pulls her close and kisses her.

“I love you,” he whispers. “I love you.”

She is alive. That is all that matters to him.

*

_Here in the forest, dark and deep, I offer you, eternal sleep._

Looking out onto the night-time street from his nondescript motel room, Kylo Ren tosses a silver coin from hand to hand and wonders whose life he will add to his tally tonight. 

He wanders the streets, finds a sports bar. It’s busy, people cheering on a football game of some sort. He has no interest in the game. He looks around for a suitable person.

The barman appeals to him. He goes over, holds out the coin.

“Heads.”

It lands heads.

He sighs, puts the coin in his pocket. He reaches out, places his hand on the man’s forehead. He flinches against the rush of memories.

“Heart attack.”

He walks away, ignoring the alarmed cries of the patrons.

He decides to wait for Rey at her house. She should be finishing work soon.

Rey is looking forward to seeing Ben. Her feet ache and so does her back, but she doesn’t care. All she can think about is his dark eyes and the way his hands touched her.

She hears the door open and thinks: _Finally. Finn is here._

She looks up and sees a red-haired man holding a gun in her face with shaky hands. He’s sweating and shivering.

“Empty the register,” he says, crazed eyes flickering around the store. “No funny business.”

He tosses a bag on the counter.

This isn’t Rey's first robbery. It’s the running joke that you aren’t a real employee until you’ve been through a late-night robbery. She knows to keep cool, do ask they ask. She’s even able to hit the emergency button without him noticing. 

But this guy makes her nervous. He’s too twitchy.

There isn’t much in her till anyway, most people have used their card tonight. Just a few notes and some change.

She hands it back to him uneasily.

He checks the bag and then snarls at her. “The fuck is this bullshit! Where’s the rest of it?”

“That’s all there is!”

He leans over the counter and sees her empty register. “Fuck!” he roars. He looks around. “This place have a safe?”

Rey nods, but she doesn’t want to get trapped back there with him. Especially not when the police arrive in a few minutes. She can see the flashing lights already – they’ve arrived with the sirens off. 

“I don’t have the code for it,” she lies, “so I can’t get you in.”

“Well, what good are you,” he growls and raises the gun.

Rey Jakku dies on the dirty floor of a convenience store, victim of an armed robbery gone awry. 

Rey is dead. She knows that. She doesn’t know where she is, and it doesn’t really matter, but it isn’t Earth. She feels strangely calm, but there is something important.

“I have to go back to Ben.”

_All will be well if you leave him be._

Rey hadn’t expected an answer. She isn’t sure who is talking to her. But it doesn’t matter.

“I promised that I would share Ben's punishment.”

_Are you certain? His hatred of himself is strong._

“More than anything – I love him.”

_May your love guide him back to the Light._

It goes dark.

*

_From my rotting body flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity_

Rey wakes up in a nondescript motel room. 

She sits up and she sees Ben standing at the window staring out at the road. He’s tossing a coin from hand to hand.

There’s an identical coin in the palm of her hand. She closes her fingers around it. It’s important, she needs it. She knows this.

“Ben?”

He whirls around.

“Rey?” He stares at her, confused, and then realisation dawns. “Oh no. No. What have you done?”

She gets up and goes over to him. He wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly, burying his face in her hair. She can feel him crying, but she doesn’t care.

They’re together.

She smiles, strokes his back gently. “It’s alright. Ben, it’s alright.” She leans back, takes his tear-streaked face in her hands. Kisses him. “It’s alright.”

“But you’re dead,” he whispers, his hands covering hers. “How is that alright?” He shakes his head. “You had so much to do still…”

Rey entwines her fingers with his. ‘No one is immune from death,’ she quotes. She kisses him again. “Now I’m here with you.”

“But you’re _cursed_.” Rey did nothing to deserve his punishment. He’s destroyed her. “Do you have any idea of what you’ve done?”

“I asked the universe to let me be with the man I love. And the universe said yes.” She pulls out a silver coin. “If this is how it has to be, so be it. I want to be with you.”

“This isn’t what I wanted for you.”

“I never wanted anything before you. I’m so happy that you made me feel and I’m thankful that I got to feel that for even if it was for a short time.”

Kylo shakes his head, pulls away from her. “This isn’t right. It’s not fair to you.”

She smiles down at the coin in her hand. “The universe is letting you have a little bit of light Ben. Even after what you’ve done.” She looks at him, her eyes shining with joyful tears. “We’re together.” 

He takes a shuddering breath. “Together,” he repeats, dropping down on the bed, the enormity of her words beginning to sink in. 

He thinks himself unforgivable, and yet Rey is here with him. She is here with him. She is here with him.

His head snaps up as she slides into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. She strokes the back of his head, her fingers carding through his hair. She smiles.

“I love you,” Ben whispers.

She kisses him gently. “I love you too.”

He kisses her harder, needing her to know how much he loves her, and she responds in kind. Her hands move over his body, pushing his clothes off, and then, she runs fingers over his hot skin.

She kisses and sucks his earlobe while he struggles with her clothes, and then he rolls her over, exploring her breasts with his mouth, licking and sucking.

His mouth moves lower and he pulls her closer. She tastes so sweet. He licks and sucks, slow and fast. Rey gasps and whimpers, her back arching. 

Keeping his mouth on her, he slides a finger into her slickness, and Rey shudders, clutching at the sheets.

Ben pushes another long finger in, crooks them, and she shudders with each coaxing movement. Her breath begins to quicken and Rey writhes against him as he speeds up. As his fingers brush against that sweet spot inside her, and she begins to pant against his neck, her breaths become hot and uneven against his skin.

She cries out, clenching around his fingers, her nails digging into his shoulders. 

Barely giving her the chance to recover, he takes his cock in hand and presses the head to Rey's entrance. He doesn’t press in fully, just the tip moving in and out of Rey for a while. Ben watches Rey’s chest heave with anticipation until finally she growls impatiently.

“Now.”

He slides forward, burying the entire length of his cock inside Rey with one steady thrust.

Rey gasps, holding him close as he groans at the sensation. She wraps her legs around him, taking every one of Ben’s deep, piercing thrusts.

He holds Rey’s hip and one hand slides up to her chest as he continues to roll his hips. He massages Rey’s breast, his thumb rubbing over her nipple and Rey moans brokenly.

Rey rocks against Ben, urging him on and Ben groans at the feel of those thighs around his waist, how they strain to meet every forward thrust.

They roll over, Rey settling on top of him and she rides Ben. She holds onto his broad shoulders for balance as she grinds slowly on the hard length inside her. Ben trembles with the sudden change in the rhythm, watching Rey's face as she relishes the friction on her clit.

Ben can only take the gentle, measured pace for so long. He grasps Rey’s hips and holds her still while he thrusts up. Sweat drips off them.

As he approaches the white abyss of climax, Ben’s thrusts become erratic, almost animalistic as he lets the primitive side of his consciousness take over.

They lean into each other and their lips meet, both moaning into the kiss, and when Ben’s erratic thrusting hit the particular spot inside her, Rey comes with a loud cry and Ben captures it hungrily with his mouth for a few seconds.

Then he follows her over the edge, spilling into her, crying out her name. He slumps back, his hair sticking to his forehead, damp with sweat.

Still gasping for breath herself, she smiles down at him. 

“I love you.”

He runs his fingers over her lips, marveling at those words. 

“I love you too,” he says. “Forever.”

*

_Without forgiveness, our souls are tied to the past._

_End._

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by the film clip "Numbers" by Daughter. It's a lovely song.
> 
> A big thanks to those that helped me with the fic and listened to me rant about it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the fic! Comments and kudos are always welcome.


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